Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Anti-Gunners Buy Ultra-Narrow Question 1 Win

Watch out criminals! Starting January 1, 2017 it’ll be more illegal for you to illegally buy a firearm. We passed another law! Michael Bloomberg (former New York City mayor, gun control advocate, and large sized soda hater) decided that NRS 202.362, which makes it a category B felony (up to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine) for felons, gang members, etc. to buy guns or to sell guns to them, just wasn’t enough to keep Nevada safe. Now, thanks to his generous donations and the operations of his inspired gun control groups, it’s double-extra-bad for criminals to criminally acquire firearms.

With the passage of Ballot Question 1, with a stunning mandate of a whopping less than 1% (as of 2 AM) in favor, private guns sales and transfers are now illegal. Give a gun to your boyfriend or girlfriend; illegal! Lend a hunting rifle to a buddy; illegal! Out-of-state visitor borrows a pistol; illegal (and they can’t get a background check either because it’s illegal for dealers to transfer pistols to out-of-state residents). Your cousin buys your old pistol; illegal! Handle your roommate’s gun at home? Illegal!

Criminals, this may or may not apply to you. If you are a prohibited person (generally felons), this does not apply. That’s right, forcing felons to get background checks constitutes an unconstitutional self-admission of guilt! You couldn’t be properly convicted of the crime. And if you have a clear record, nothing will stop you from legally buying the gun and using it later, just ask the majority of high-profile shooting murderers. Or, you can have your girlfriend, buddy, or family member with a clean record go and buy the gun for you. As long no one finds out, it’s not a problem. Be smart! Background checks only stop the stupid.

As for you, legal gun owner; you’re the problem! You with your gun show loophole—yeah, we saw you looking at those antique pistols and those surplus rifles on all three non-FFL tables at the gun show. It guys like you, leaving electronic trails all over gun forums, email, and auction websites who are arming terrorists and drug dealers! Not very many, but some of them. If we just save one life…like full background checks stopped those terrorists in California…wait, they didn’t? They were able to pass a background check and were just too dumb to know better? Well, nevermind that! If we just save one life…

In Washington, we got a bad guy! The guy who sold a gun without a background check to another dude who later murdered a third dude is going to court. Yeah, we’re so gonna burn him with a misdemeanor. That’ll stop people from arming criminals and committing murder. Watch us make an example of that guy! He might even get a year in jail! If they ever find him since he skipped town. That’s a whole one prosecution after only 50 denials (2% of all background checks)--nevermind the fact that universal background checks didn’t stop a murder. That’s not important.

And don’t worry if you sell or transfer a gun to your friends, Clark County DA Wolfson said he’s not going to prosecute you. Heck, he might not even prosecute you even if he does catch you and you’re a real dirtbag. He only filed two prohibited person cases in two years! So you probably got a pretty good chance of not getting busted (instructions on how to not get convicted will follow later this week).

And if you’re worried that this isn’t enough gun control, don’t worry! Everytown for Gun Safety will be back soon with gun violence restraining orders, assault weapon bans, and gun registration. Arizona, New Mexico, Florida,’re next! Each win is an encouragement for the anti-gun coalitions and they’ll keep expanding, pushing, and winning until “common sense” gun laws go federal.

Special thanks goes to the uninformed voter, who took the word of a couple of random, retired cops and to vote “yes” based on some scary commercials featuring mostly white dudes buying and selling guns on the street in broad-daylight. Even more thanks is owed to the gun owner who didn’t vote, or didn’t bother to educate themselves on the topic. Remember, posting a meme on Facebook is way better than actually doing something to stop gun control. Thanks to your inaction, we just narrowly lost unlike Maine’s nearly 4% margin to defeat.

Despite the NRA dumping millions in, it was only a fraction of what Everytown, Bloomberg, rich Las Vegas liberals, and out-of-state billionaires spent. The countless hours of volunteers making signs, holding rallies, and manning the polls was naught in the face of all the true believing soccer moms, liberal grandmothers, feminist-studies college students, and the bunches of people getting cash from Everytown. Remember, money can always buy an election!

Now go out there, buy guns privately until New Years, and jack up the prices on everything including the mythical .22LR ammo. We’re confident that thanks to Question 1, Nevada’s gun violence will drop to remarkably low levels, because as always, it’s never the criminal, it’s always the gun.

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